Claire Bidwell Smith

A week ago I said goodbye to these three and drove away from my little home in Santa Monica. It was weirdly easy to do, an indication, I think, of just how much I needed to get away. I think the most startling thing for me about being a parent, from the very first day, Read more…

Dear Juliette, You are nine months old now. You have officially lived outside of my body, just as long as you were inside of it. There’s something about this nine month mark. I felt it with your sister too. There’s an independence that comes with it, an attachment that is less to me, and more Read more…

On Monday I took Vera to ballet class, as usual. And as usual, I spent the majority of her class time chasing after Juliette who crawled around the anteroom with the other babies, trying to put every pair of tap shoes she could find into her mouth. But every few minutes I made sure to Read more…

Confession: I don’t really like Valentine’s Day. At least, not when I’m in a relationship. It just ends up feeling like this contrived holiday in which we’re supposed to act love-y, even if we’re not feeling it. I’m much more for random acts of love, surprise dates when the mood strikes, or gifts when you’re Read more…

I don’t consider myself a mom-blogger. But lately I’ve been receiving so many comments about how my recent posts on motherhood have been inspiring and heartening, that I’ve been able to articulate things for some of you in important ways. It’s flattering to hear such a thing, but also really befuddling. (Caught in action by my Read more…

The other night Veronica woke up from a nightmare around 3AM and called out to me. I stumbled out of my deep sleep and into her room, where I crawled in bed with her. “What was your dream?” I asked. “It was a nightmare,” she whispered, holding onto me tightly. “About a kite monster. He Read more…

We went to Phoenix over the weekend so that I could attend a conference, for research for my second book. I’m still trying to figure out how to juggle my career with motherhood. I think it’s the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Everything else I’ve been through in my life up until now seems Read more…

This morning 6AM found me awake and in bed with both girls, and one of the cats. It was barely light out, but Greg was already out of the house getting some exercise. I definitely could have slept longer but Vera woke promptly at 6 to jump in bed with me and Jules. I tried Read more…

Last night I dreamed about my mother. Specifically, I dreamed that I was besotted with grief over her death, and crying in big, heaping tears. I was crying the way I sometimes want to, but seldom do anymore. I’ve been missing her a lot lately. I’ve been wondering what she would think of me if Read more…

This morning Greg let me sleep in a bit while he got up with the baby. Then around 7:30 Vera woke up and crawled in bed with me. It’s so rare that the baby isn’t with me that we had a few moments of special time together. She was cold from having kicked off her Read more…