Claire Bidwell Smith

A week ago I said goodbye to these three and drove away from my little home in Santa Monica. It was weirdly easy to do, an indication, I think, of just how much I needed to get away. I think the most startling thing for me about being a parent, from the very first day, Read more…

I don’t consider myself a mom-blogger. But lately I’ve been receiving so many comments about how my recent posts on motherhood have been inspiring and heartening, that I’ve been able to articulate things for some of you in important ways. It’s flattering to hear such a thing, but also really befuddling. (Caught in action by my Read more…

Dear Juliette, Last night I did something terrible. I did the thing that no mother is supposed to ever do. Your sister asked me if I love her more than you, and I said yes. I know, I know. You’re going to hold this over me forever. But it’s not even true. That thing that Read more…

We went to Phoenix over the weekend so that I could attend a conference, for research for my second book. I’m still trying to figure out how to juggle my career with motherhood. I think it’s the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. Everything else I’ve been through in my life up until now seems Read more…

This morning 6AM found me awake and in bed with both girls, and one of the cats. It was barely light out, but Greg was already out of the house getting some exercise. I definitely could have slept longer but Vera woke promptly at 6 to jump in bed with me and Jules. I tried Read more…

Last night I dreamed about my mother. Specifically, I dreamed that I was besotted with grief over her death, and crying in big, heaping tears. I was crying the way I sometimes want to, but seldom do anymore. I’ve been missing her a lot lately. I’ve been wondering what she would think of me if Read more…

This morning Greg let me sleep in a bit while he got up with the baby. Then around 7:30 Vera woke up and crawled in bed with me. It’s so rare that the baby isn’t with me that we had a few moments of special time together. She was cold from having kicked off her Read more…

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since I’ve blogged. I think that’s the longest I’ve gone in years. I’ve been trying to be more forgiving of myself though when it comes to not accomplishing things, and blogging has been one thing I’ve tried not to beat myself up over. That said, I do Read more…

It’s late afternoon. Juliette is napping and Greg is at the pool with Veronica. I have a cold coming on and my limbs feel sticky and achy, my throat sore. I’m tired too. And drained. And kind of sad. But you wouldn’t know that from the pretty pictures I post on Instagram all day, would Read more…

Juliette is a month old. Everyone says that time moves faster with the second, and they’re right. The first month of Vera’s life felt like a year, each day its own kaleidoscope of new beginnings for each of us. In contrast, Juliette has slid into the motion of our family the way the second hand Read more…