Claire Bidwell Smith

Last night I dreamed about my mother. Specifically, I dreamed that I was besotted with grief over her death, and crying in big, heaping tears. I was crying the way I sometimes want to, but seldom do anymore. I’ve been missing her a lot lately. I’ve been wondering what she would think of me if Read more…

Dear Girls, I really want these letters to be useful to you one day. There is so much I wish I could ask my mother now that I am a grown woman. There is so much we never got to talk about. I’m planning on being around for you well into your lives and adulthood, Read more…

This morning Greg let me sleep in a bit while he got up with the baby. Then around 7:30 Vera woke up and crawled in bed with me. It’s so rare that the baby isn’t with me that we had a few moments of special time together. She was cold from having kicked off her Read more…

My aunt and uncle were in town from Cape Cod over the weekend (hence the lack of posting — I went straight from the SF trip into out-of-town guests) and my aunt brought me a bunch of old photos. There was a whole little album with pictures of my mother pregnant and bringing me home. Read more…

I received a long email from a close friend of my mother’s today. She’s just finished reading my book and had a lot to say. The passage that really struck me, and that also made me incredibly sad was this one: The last time I saw your mom was in St. Joseph’s Hospital, right before Read more…

Dear Mom, Today marks 15 years since you’ve been gone. I’m devastated by that number. I can hardly bear to think about how many millions of times my cells have recycled since I last saw you. Can hardly bear to conceive of all the ways I’ve changed and grown since you knew me, your daughter. Read more…

Dear Vera, You woke up from a nightmare at 5:30 this morning and your dad brought you into bed with us. You curled and shifted and pressed against me, whispering in my ear and twisting and turning until your warm, little body finally went still and your breathing evened out, my arms wrapped tight around Read more…

The lovely people at Text Publishing in Australia have designed a completely new cover for THE RULES OF INHERITANCE and I love it! Every time I look at it I get a little teary. My mother is going to be on the cover of my book. I cannot even express how that makes me feel. Read more…

We’ve been busy getting ready for Halloween around our house. Last week I took Vera to Old Navy where she tried on EVERY single costume. I’m serious — every, single one. (I think I decided right away when I became a mom that I was never going to the kind who makes costumes for her Read more…

I wrote a letter to my mother last night, something I rarely do. Letters to my mother have always been reserved for once a year on January 24th, the day she died. But last night, late and tipsy after an evening spent with girlfriends, I tapped out a letter to my mother. It wasn’t the Read more…