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My Mom

date
Jan
23
2014

Dear Girls: On Half a Lifetime Without My Mother

Dear Girls, This week marks 18 years since my mother died. Exactly half my life ago. Every day after January 24th, 2014 will mean that I have been alive longer without her, than with her. My mother, my beautiful, glowing mother. It seems impossible that she’s been gone for so long. Almost two decades later, Read more…

date
Sep
15
2013

Objects of Loss

In the months and weeks following my mother’s death, my father and I carefully pulled apart the pieces of her material life. We sorted through her closet, threw away her cosmetics, gave away her cookbooks, her shoes, tossed away the little scraps of paper that ran rampant on her desk, her looping handwriting cascading across Read more…

date
Apr
12
2013

Finding Hope, After Mother-Loss

It’s been almost fifteen years since I first came across Hope Edelman’s book Motherless Daughters. I was twenty years old and living in New York. My mother had been dead for two years and I was more lost than ever. I can’t remember how I came across this book, whether someone told me about it, Read more…

date
Mar
13
2013

Home from NYC: A Love Letter to the Women in My Life

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m humming with happiness. It’s probable that I should be exhausted and stressed out, but I’m not. Not at all. I’m happy. I feel full, and bursting with excitement about my life and about the days to come. My trip to New York was absolutely dazzling. On Sunday I stood in Read more…

date
Feb
20
2013

On Being Seen

On Monday I took Vera to ballet class, as usual. And as usual, I spent the majority of her class time chasing after Juliette who crawled around the anteroom with the other babies, trying to put every pair of tap shoes she could find into her mouth. But every few minutes I made sure to Read more…

date
Feb
14
2013

The Things We Remember

Confession: I don’t really like Valentine’s Day. At least, not when I’m in a relationship. It just ends up feeling like this contrived holiday in which we’re supposed to act love-y, even if we’re not feeling it. I’m much more for random acts of love, surprise dates when the mood strikes, or gifts when you’re Read more…

date
Feb
07
2013

Dear Girls: On How We Measure Our Mothers

Dear Girls, I’ve been missing my mom a lot lately. So often during my days I find myself staring off into oblivion, wishing I could talk to her about all the things that are running through my head. I don’t know if she would have any answers for me, not the ones I’m looking for Read more…

date
Feb
05
2013

A Tiny Glimpse

I met this woman the other week who reminded me so much of my mother that I was barely out the door of her house before I was sobbing. It’s funny how used to a thing you can get. How used to not having someone in your life you can get. And then you have a Read more…

date
Jan
24
2013

Sixteen Years Without Her

Dear Mom, You have been gone for 16 years. Almost half of my life. All morning I’ve been trying to imagine what you would think of me now. I’m thirty-four years old. I live in California. I’m married with two little girls. I’m a writer, and a therapist. I keep wondering if these are the Read more…

date
Dec
30
2012

Not My Mother’s Hoppin’ John (Southern Black Eyed Peas & Rice)

Although I’ve lived all over the place at this point, I was actually born and raised in Georgia. In the South it’s a tradition to eat a dish called Hoppin’ John on New Year’s Day. Made of black eyed peas and rice, it’s meant to bring on prosperity and good fortune in the year ahead. Read more…