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date
Jan
23
2014

Dear Girls: On Half a Lifetime Without My Mother

Dear Girls, This week marks 18 years since my mother died. Exactly half my life ago. Every day after January 24th, 2014 will mean that I have been alive longer without her, than with her. My mother, my beautiful, glowing mother. It seems impossible that she’s been gone for so long. Almost two decades later, Read more…

date
Dec
25
2013

Dear Vera & Jules: Think of Me as Every Place

Dear Vera & Jules, It’s Christmas afternoon in Los Angeles, warm and sunny, and there is still sand between my toes from our walk on the beach today. You both woke up promptly at 6AM, excited to see what Santa brought for you, and if he liked the cookies you made for him, and Vera Read more…

date
Sep
25
2013

Thinking About Thinking

I was always a weird kid. When I was in sixth grade I memorized the entirety of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven, simply because I loved it. This is a poem that is not only bleak and dark, but one that contains 18 stanzas. I still remember the look of befuddlement on my parents’ faces Read more…

date
Aug
21
2013

Dear Girls: On Being Brave

Dear Girls, Last week I took you for a check up at the doctor’s office and you both got a few shots. Picture me sitting on the exam table one of you in each of my arms, clinging to me, hot and sweaty with tears and quaking sobs. My heart both breaks and swells into Read more…

date
Aug
01
2013

On Ten Years Without My Father

The last thing my father ever taught me was how to install a showerhead. I was twenty-five years old and taking care of him at the end of his life in a small condominium in Southern California. The cancer had gone to his bones by this point and he was unable to get out of Read more…

date
Mar
19
2013

Dear Juliette: Nine Months In, Nine Months Out

Dear Juliette, You are nine months old now. You have officially lived outside of my body, just as long as you were inside of it. There’s something about this nine month mark. I felt it with your sister too. There’s an independence that comes with it, an attachment that is less to me, and more Read more…

date
Jan
24
2013

Sixteen Years Without Her

Dear Mom, You have been gone for 16 years. Almost half of my life. All morning I’ve been trying to imagine what you would think of me now. I’m thirty-four years old. I live in California. I’m married with two little girls. I’m a writer, and a therapist. I keep wondering if these are the Read more…

date
Jan
16
2013

How Long Do We Grieve

I took this photo of Veronica this morning when I dropped her off at preschool. It’s our morning ritual. After putting her lunchbag in her cubby, reading her a few books, and giving her a hug, I then stand outside the schoolhouse and draw hearts or flowers or smiley faces on the glass for her. Read more…

date
Jan
11
2013

All This: Reflections on Atlanta

I returned from my trip to Atlanta the other day and have been trying to catch up ever since. As I write this my suitcase sits in the dining room, yet to be unpacked, and I still have a million thank you emails to write to everyone who came out to my reading on Tuesday Read more…

date
Jan
03
2013

Dear Juliette: Six-Month Confessions

Dear Juliette, Last night I did something terrible. I did the thing that no mother is supposed to ever do. Your sister asked me if I love her more than you, and I said yes. I know, I know. You’re going to hold this over me forever. But it’s not even true. That thing that Read more…