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Life

date
Jan
23
2014

Dear Girls: On Half a Lifetime Without My Mother

Dear Girls, This week marks 18 years since my mother died. Exactly half my life ago. Every day after January 24th, 2014 will mean that I have been alive longer without her, than with her. My mother, my beautiful, glowing mother. It seems impossible that she’s been gone for so long. Almost two decades later, Read more…

date
Dec
25
2013

Dear Vera & Jules: Think of Me as Every Place

Dear Vera & Jules, It’s Christmas afternoon in Los Angeles, warm and sunny, and there is still sand between my toes from our walk on the beach today. You both woke up promptly at 6AM, excited to see what Santa brought for you, and if he liked the cookies you made for him, and Vera Read more…

date
Sep
25
2013

Thinking About Thinking

I was always a weird kid. When I was in sixth grade I memorized the entirety of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven, simply because I loved it. This is a poem that is not only bleak and dark, but one that contains 18 stanzas. I still remember the look of befuddlement on my parents’ faces Read more…

date
Aug
21
2013

Dear Girls: On Being Brave

Dear Girls, Last week I took you for a check up at the doctor’s office and you both got a few shots. Picture me sitting on the exam table one of you in each of my arms, clinging to me, hot and sweaty with tears and quaking sobs. My heart both breaks and swells into Read more…

date
Apr
12
2013

Finding Hope, After Mother-Loss

It’s been almost fifteen years since I first came across Hope Edelman’s book Motherless Daughters. I was twenty years old and living in New York. My mother had been dead for two years and I was more lost than ever. I can’t remember how I came across this book, whether someone told me about it, Read more…

date
Mar
19
2013

Dear Juliette: Nine Months In, Nine Months Out

Dear Juliette, You are nine months old now. You have officially lived outside of my body, just as long as you were inside of it. There’s something about this nine month mark. I felt it with your sister too. There’s an independence that comes with it, an attachment that is less to me, and more Read more…

date
Feb
07
2013

Dear Girls: On How We Measure Our Mothers

Dear Girls, I’ve been missing my mom a lot lately. So often during my days I find myself staring off into oblivion, wishing I could talk to her about all the things that are running through my head. I don’t know if she would have any answers for me, not the ones I’m looking for Read more…

date
Feb
01
2013

Where I Am These Days

The first month of 2013 is over. It was a significant one, in an unexpected way. Not that it shouldn’t have been significant, but rather that I just kind of slid into the month, into the new year, without a lot of expectations, without too many concrete plans (that coming from the woman who has Read more…

date
Jan
16
2013

How Long Do We Grieve

I took this photo of Veronica this morning when I dropped her off at preschool. It’s our morning ritual. After putting her lunchbag in her cubby, reading her a few books, and giving her a hug, I then stand outside the schoolhouse and draw hearts or flowers or smiley faces on the glass for her. Read more…

date
Jan
11
2013

All This: Reflections on Atlanta

I returned from my trip to Atlanta the other day and have been trying to catch up ever since. As I write this my suitcase sits in the dining room, yet to be unpacked, and I still have a million thank you emails to write to everyone who came out to my reading on Tuesday Read more…