Claire Bidwell Smith

It’s been almost fifteen years since I first came across Hope Edelman’s book Motherless Daughters. I was twenty years old and living in New York. My mother had been dead for two years and I was more lost than ever. I can’t remember how I came across this book, whether someone told me about it, Read more…

Dear Juliette, You are nine months old now. You have officially lived outside of my body, just as long as you were inside of it. There’s something about this nine month mark. I felt it with your sister too. There’s an independence that comes with it, an attachment that is less to me, and more Read more…

Dear Girls, I’ve been missing my mom a lot lately. So often during my days I find myself staring off into oblivion, wishing I could talk to her about all the things that are running through my head. I don’t know if she would have any answers for me, not the ones I’m looking for Read more…

The first month of 2013 is over. It was a significant one, in an unexpected way. Not that it shouldn’t have been significant, but rather that I just kind of slid into the month, into the new year, without a lot of expectations, without too many concrete plans (that coming from the woman who has Read more…

I took this photo of Veronica this morning when I dropped her off at preschool. It’s our morning ritual. After putting her lunchbag in her cubby, reading her a few books, and giving her a hug, I then stand outside the schoolhouse and draw hearts or flowers or smiley faces on the glass for her. Read more…

I returned from my trip to Atlanta the other day and have been trying to catch up ever since. As I write this my suitcase sits in the dining room, yet to be unpacked, and I still have a million thank you emails to write to everyone who came out to my reading on Tuesday Read more…

Dear Juliette, Last night I did something terrible. I did the thing that no mother is supposed to ever do. Your sister asked me if I love her more than you, and I said yes. I know, I know. You’re going to hold this over me forever. But it’s not even true. That thing that Read more…

2012 has probably been the busiest year of my entire life. I gave birth to my second child. And I also brought my first book into the world. It was a big year, a beautiful year, and a hard, hard year. I tried to do so many things. I succeeded at many of them, failed Read more…

Thursday was a long travel day and I think we all spent most of yesterday still trying to recover. We dismantled the Christmas tree, put away all of our new and lovely gifts, did loads and loads of laundry. Went to Trader Joes. Took the cats in the backyard for some fresh air. Showered, cooked, Read more…

Dear Dad, I’m sitting here in my little house in Los Angeles, wishing more than I have in a long time that you were still here. Some terrible things have happened in our country and I don’t know which way to turn. I feel angry and confused and sad. So, so sad. I suddenly don’t Read more…