Photos!

Baby Bump at 14.5 weeks & Ultrasound at 14.5 weeks (click to enlarge):

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Ultrasound 14


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Update

Okay, so I spent three hours at the doctor's office this afternoon and, while it was sometimes frustrating and scary, the end result was a good one and I'm feeling much better.

I had a second ultrasound (got to see the baby again) and actually met with the doctor on 4 different occasions. He definitely thinks I need to have the surgery and that now (or sometime really soon) is the best time to have it during my pregnancy.

The cyst looks simple and benign and has likely been growing for quite some time. It's behind my uterus so it's a little tricky to get to and they can't do laproscopic surgery, so they'll actually have to open me up with a low pelvic incision and I'll be in the hospital for 2-3 days.

The doctor did say that I might have to have a general anesthesia for the surgery though, and that's the only thing that makes me really nervous. Greg's brother, who is a doctor, says it's fine and so did the doctor today, but I have mixed feelings about subjecting the baby to it.

I'm actually seeing another doctor on Monday morning — an OB I've seen before and who works on the same team as the guy today — and she'll most likely concur with his suggestions, but I just want one more opinion before I schedule anything.

Overall though, I'm feeling a lot better. I just wanted more information and a better understanding of what was coming. I'm home now, on the couch, eating holiday fudge that Liz sent, and feeling cozy.

Thanks again to everyone who has sent messages and texts and left messages. Wow, I feel really loved and looked after. Thank you.

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Frustration

I'm generally just feeling frustrated. The doctor's office just called again and no one seems to know anything about anything. The woman that just called seemed to be calling to find out how urgently I needed to come in — she's from a different doctor's office than the one who ordered the ultrasound because that doctor is out — and so I had to explain to her all over again about the cyst. I asked her if she would be able to get the ultrasound photos for the appointment today and then needed to tell her where and when they were done and she seemed unsure that they could get them even though the doctor who did the ultrasound seemed like it was pretty urgent that I move on all this.

She closed by saying, "Okay, well come on in today. I'm not sure we'll get anything taken care of but we'll talk about what we can do." And I hung up the phone feeling like I'm going to cry all over again. I feel like if I weren't calling and following up about all this, nothing would be happening at all.

And I feel like the whole pregnancy has been put on hold. It's like I can't be excited about being pregnant anymore until I know what's going to happen. I haven't really wanted to share the ultrasound pictures or take a new belly photo (which I'm way overdue to do and will probably regret later) because I just feel this giant cloud of something being wrong.

And I feel pretty alone in it. I can't explain to Greg what it all feels like, physically or emotionally, and he's alone and frustrated in it all too. And the house is a mess and I have this stupid Christmas card project that I really need to finish and I just feel pretty awful about everything.

This is a terrible post but I just need to vent.

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