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The Perks of Being Present

Why is it that the last half of the year always seems to move so quickly? Summer slips into fall, slips into winter. I’ve been thinking a lot about a year ago. We were new to this house, Vera was just about to start preschool, my book was still a few months off from being published, and I was grappling with the first trimester of my pregnancy with Juliette.

When I think about it all like that it makes me realize how much is changing all the time. It’s funny how I can feel so stuck when, from certain angles, it seems impossible that I’ve ever been stuck.

There’s been some kind of shift lately. I’ve felt a little more peaceful about where everything lies. All summer I fought against things. I didn’t want to be home with a newborn. I wanted to be working, to be traveling, to be writing. But something lately has changed. I don’t know whether it’s that Jules has been a lot more fun to be around, or that we’ve all settled into our new positions in this family of four, or how much of it has to do with effort I’ve applied. All of it, I’m sure.

But these days I’ve been happy to have Greg go off to work during the day while I stay home with the girls, ignoring the piles of work on my desk, for craft projects or baking. Suddenly all the work feels as though it can wait, even though some of it can’t. And I feel this rushing sense of urgency about how quickly these early years with my girls are going to pass. Vera has come out of her second-kid-transition-tantrums and seems more creative and independent than ever. And Jules couldn’t be sweeter, smiling and laughing and snuggly. I want to freeze these moments, this time, this age.

I know I’ll look back on this era of my life with absolute wonderment. How sweet and simple and golden and glowing it will seem. And as hard as moments or whole days of it can be right now, I know that there will come a day when this will be my most favorite time in my life. That I’ll walk through this little house in my head at night, that I’ll dwell on memories of baking with Vera in the afternoons and the feel of sand on my feet at the beach in the mornings.

All this to say that I’m here, immersed in my days, and grateful for it, most of the time.

A few links:

I finally joined Pinterest and am mildly obsessed.

I know I haven’t been blogging lately but you can follow a veritable photo diary of my days on Instagram.

Loved this HuffPost article about how moms need to be in their kids’ pictures more often.

I’ve read a couple of GREAT books lately:

Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

Tiger in Eden by Chris Flynn

Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

 

2 Comments

  1. Yes. Absolute wonderment. I know that feeling well, a sort of preemptive nostalgia for right now, even as I live it. Beautifully evoked. xox

    Comment by Lindsey on October 30, 2012 at 10:49 am

  2. I miss those moments. Even though I love the people our kids are becoming, I occasionally find myself misty eyed and nostalgic for those days my whole world revolved around them.

    Comment by Wendy on October 31, 2012 at 9:31 am

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