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Dear Baby: We’re All Waiting For You

Dear Baby,

It’s Friday, June 15th and you were supposed to be here by now. At least I thought you were. I guess one thing I’ve learned as a parent is that you can’t plan on anything. Not anything at all.

And that’s fine, but really, we’re all just so anxious to meet you. Not just me, but your dad and your sister and your grandparents (who have been here from Ohio for a full week now!). And not even just them, but all of your cousins and our friends and even blog readers (some of whom even claim to be having trouble sleeping due to all the anticipation). Maybe you’re just enjoying all this attention, all the speculation and wonderment about who you are, but really baby, I can tell you, it will only get better once you’re here.

We all can’t wait to meet you and love you even more than we do already. You’re already intimately familiar with me, your mama, but you’ve got this amazing dad to meet (he’s so smart and funny and really handsome), and also this totally crazy-wonderful big sister who can’t wait to dress you up and change your diaper and lean so close into your little face as she coos at you that your eyes will cross. You’ve got a little house in Santa Monica, California to come home to, and I promise all the plants are watered, the laundry is done, your clothes are folded, and the bassinet is all set up.

Seriously, kid. All we need is you.

Maybe you’re waiting for Father’s Day, in two more days. While I’m definitely feeling impatient for your arrival, I will attest that your dad is worth making a fuss over. He’s a really good dad, baby. He’s so thoughtful and self-aware. One of the things that always strikes me about him is that when you argue with him, he actually listens to your side. Seriously. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve been in the middle of an argument and I’ve gotten all puffed up and ready to really get feisty about whatever it is I’m arguing for when all of a sudden he goes quiet, looks around the room for a minute, and then says, you’re right.¬†And not in an acquiescing¬†kind of way, but in a genuine, I-just-listened-to-what-you-said-and-realized-that-you’re-right-kind-of-way. I mean, it doesn’t happen all the time, since I’m not right all the time, but I’m just saying, your dad will be someone who will always really listen to you, and that’s one of the most incredible gifts anyone in your life could ever, ever give you.

There are lots of things you’ll come to know about me, baby, but one of them is that for a long time after my parents died I felt really misunderstood. I just felt like I had been through this huge, terrible experience that most people couldn’t relate to. This caused me to resent the people around me and that feeling was an awful burden to bear. For a long time the only way I could cope was by surrounding myself with other people who were just as damaged as I was. That was the only way I felt understood — by being around other people who knew pain as well as I did.

It was when I finally got over that part of my life that I met your father. He was the first person I really loved who wasn’t damaged. Part of me being able to love him had to do with me having worked really hard to get past all of my resentment and pain, but part of it was also due to your dad being such a true listener. I knew he could never truly comprehend the things I’d been through, but you know what, baby? That didn’t matter because he really listened to me and listened to my stories and he looked in my eyes, and he didn’t just nod his head like some people do. Instead, I could tell he was searching inside of himself for ways to understand me and let me love him, and it was the most overwhelmingly lovely gesture anyone had made to me in years and years.

Anyway, all this to say that if you have to wait until Father’s Day to show up, I understand. He’s worth it, your dad.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not tapping my foot.

Love,

Mom

 

19 Comments

  1. Well, you’ve stated your case eloquently, personally, and I suspect, “ball in baby’s court.” Good luck and obviously prayers, hugs and best wishes

    Comment by Esther Bradley-DeTally on June 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

  2. Could there be a more beautiful love letter…

    Comment by Shilpa on June 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

  3. Wow, this is a gorgeous letter! Greg needs to frame this one!

    Comment by Kristine Hansen on June 15, 2012 at 11:09 am

  4. Let’s hope baby is a good listener like Dad!! :)

    Comment by Amy Sue Nathan on June 15, 2012 at 11:26 am

  5. So so beautiful. Thank you for sharing!

    Comment by Elana K Arnold on June 15, 2012 at 11:27 am

  6. I am still banking on Father’s Day to make the grand entrance :)

    This was beautiful

    Comment by Helene on June 15, 2012 at 11:35 am

  7. Oh Geez, Claire. In the middle of what could rightfully be considered your time to be totally self-involved (I mean anyone in their right mind should be willing to give an over-due pregnant woman a free pass to be self-centered) you manage to turn out this lovely piece about the *other* people in your life. Kudos, and empathy, and patience and love to you today from here :-)

    Comment by Carroll on June 15, 2012 at 11:37 am

  8. So amazing! Come on baby! We are waiting! :)

    Comment by Vanessa on June 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

  9. Oh Claire, you make me cry! I love your words. Sending lots of good energy and love to you and your family.

    Comment by Annie on June 15, 2012 at 11:54 am

  10. So beautiful and teary-eyed making . . . thanks, as always, for sharing your lovely words.

    Comment by Jenny on June 15, 2012 at 12:18 pm

  11. So very touching Claire. So, the salad didn’t do its magic, which means maybe the day will be this Sunday. Sending hugs your way.

    Comment by Sandy on June 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

  12. STOP MAKING ME CRY!

    (Not really. You can keep doing it.)

    Comment by Nothing But Bonfires on June 15, 2012 at 12:26 pm

  13. Lovely letter Claire – thinking of you all the way from Cape Cod and knowing one way or the other it will be a very happy Father’s Day! Hugs to all of you!

    Comment by Tracy W on June 15, 2012 at 12:31 pm

  14. What a wonderful letter. Now hurry up little one I can not wait for my new cousin!!

    Comment by Nancy Smith-Stetter on June 15, 2012 at 1:50 pm

  15. I love reading your letters– first to Veronica and now to Baby… I think Baby is waiting for Sunday… You just can’t top getting a Baby for Father’s Day…. And his Dad would be getting a Grand Baby for Father’s Day…. So just a little while longer!

    Comment by Rebecca C on June 15, 2012 at 2:31 pm

  16. I cried again with this beautiful letter! Now I’m really hoping for a Father’s Day delivery….we will see! :)

    Comment by Karen on June 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

  17. Lovely Claire….

    Comment by Pam Purdy on June 16, 2012 at 3:02 am

  18. Wish I knew how to respond to Twitter posts. Thank you for the daily update :) Ok come on 4th of July!! :)
    Few more hours, Father’s Day can still happen

    Happy Father’s Day to Greg

    Comment by Helene on June 17, 2012 at 7:25 am

  19. What a beautiful tribute to the man who, last I heard, was gripping the steering wheel on I-10 headed for the big event. Cannot wait to hear!

    Comment by Lisa Lilienthal on June 17, 2012 at 5:22 pm

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