Claire Bidwell Smith

Something that has always stood out to me about grief is how lonely it is. When you’re going through the loss of a loved one, it can be a very isolating experience. No one around you quite understands what you’re feeling. My main intention behind writing and publishing The Rules of Inheritance was to put my experience out into the world so that others would feel a little less alone in their own journeys. Over the last couple of months since the book was published, I’ve received some incredible letters from readers and I’m so humbled to share some of them here.

In this particular letter the writer reminds me of one of the universal traits I so often come across with grief, and it’s that, as grievers, we are so hard on ourselves. We put so much pressure on ourselves to get through it, get over it, get away from it, when really, the only way through it is to really sit with it, to steep ourselves in our grief. We must acknowledge how difficult it is to lose someone we love, and we must forgive ourselves our confusion and despair. Those qualities are simply a reflection of how much love we have for the person who is gone.

February 26, 2012