Yesterday I chased Vera around the back yard, taking pictures of her. Sometimes this feeling wells up in me and I am suddenly desperate to capture how beautiful she is in this moment. Her looks are ever-shifting these days and I know that each day will differ from the last.
She laughed and ran all around the property and I clicked and clicked away. It was 75 degrees and she was overdue for a nap, but it was a moment I was reluctant to relinquish.
Later when I sat looking at these photos, I was struck by how silly it is that I am so afraid of this new baby. Just looking at V’s eyes in these pictures, leaves me with no doubt that I’ll love and obsess over the next one just as much.
Yes, life is infinitely harder these days. Vera was up twice in the night, eventually ending up in bed with us, where we all slept in a tangled, restless mess until we shoved the covers off at the last minute in order to begin our frantic day. All the same, it’s so easy to love her.
So I’m grateful for the brief moments in which my anxiety abates, in which I know, however briefly, that I can do this again.