Posted January 14, 2011 by
I'm writing this from bed, where I am feebly battling a viscious cold my handsome husband gave me this week. Thanks Greg!
Truthfully, I'm still trying to take in this whole book deal. It's a lot to wrap my head around. This is something I have wanted for over TEN years. I can still remember being twenty and in New York, writing to my mother in my journal and telling her that I was writing a book about everything. I remember tears dripping down my cheeks and onto the page as I scrawled out a promise to make it happen.
And now it is real.
I've been incredibly emotional about it all over this last week. I just feel so humbled and so very, very grateful. I can't stop thinking about all the people who have helped me along this journey, and I can't stop writing to them all to thank them.
I know that the book hasn't even published yet, but just to have gotten this point, to have sold it to an esteemed publishing company, and to have a team of people who are comitted to helping me bring it to bookstores, is more than enough.
I have been writing and working on this goal for so very long. There have been many, many times in which I could have given up. There have been many times when I almost have. There were even times when I did give up, only to heave myself up again a few months or a year later, and try again.
No matter how down I've been on myself though, I have had these incredible people in my life who have believed in me. Like really BELIEVED in me. Even when I didn't. Especially when I didn't. I can't tell you how fun it was to call them this week and tell them that I did it. I really did it. I sold my book.
One of those people who really believed in me was my friend Julie who I wrote about recently. I can't stop marveling over the fact that this whole book deal happened on the tenth anniversary of her death. There is something very magical and meaningful about that.
I also wrote two letters that made me cry. The first was to my high school English teacher, Pearl McHaney. I told her how I still remember the day in 10th grade when she handed me back a personal essay I had written. She had written a request across the top saying that she would like to meet with me for an hour. A few days later she began that hour by telling me that she could tell that I was a writer, and throughout the next three years she poured so much energy into helping foster that talent in me. I will be forever grateful to her for that.
The second letter was to my college writing teacher, Joan Dulchin. I took classes with Joan all four years that I attended The New School in New York. After I had taken all of her classes I continued to meet with her every week in an independent study. I was so young and so lost. It was those first few years after my mother died and having this woman in my life who believed in me and who genuinely worked to help me find my voice was such a gift. Thinking about her never ceases to bring tears to my eyes.
Oh, and I also sent flowers to my agent. Because she's a rockstar.
Thank you to everyone here who wrote such nice comments and notes. It's hard to describe how much it's meant to me to have this place to come to, to have all of you to listen to me.