In Defense of Breast-Feeding: Do We Really Have To Go Over This Again?

This post has been revised to hide the identity of the blogger mentioned. I originally called her out from a place of anger and hurt. However, I do hope she reconsiders her views on public breast-feeding.

This isn't the first time I've written about breast-feeding, and I had actually been planning to write a bit about how I'm still doing it, but then something happened yesterday that further compelled me to write this post.

Yesterday a fellow Chicago blogger and writer posted some statements to her Twitter feed that I found incredibly offensive and hurtful. I don't normally call people out like this, but I really feel like I need to share my thoughts about this issue.

Before yesterday I was simply intending to write about how I'm still nursing, and how I've begun to feel a bit self-conscious about it. In the mom groups I'm part of I have suddenly become the minority; most of the breast-feeding moms weaned their children around the one year mark. Lately I've been feeling unsure of when and how to stop, another thing that has left me feeling unsure of myself.


Breast-feeding is a strange part of my life. It's not something I ever expected I would feel passionate about. It's not even something I thought I would like or even do for all that long. When Veronica was born I intended to give it a shot, but I thought it would be kind of weird and that I wouldn't be into it very much. Pretty immediately I was blown away by what a unique bonding experience it is for a mother and baby, and also by how much nutritional and emotional value is gained from it.

That said, breast-feeding hasn't been easy for me, especially in the beginning. It was difficult to figure out how to do it, when to do it, how much to do it. Then there were the sore breasts and blocked ducts, constant leaking and seemingly inevitable bouts of mastitis. Not to mention that as a breast-feeding mom, I felt practically attached to my baby for the first six weeks of her life. There were many days when breast-feeding felt like being in jail.

Unlike jail, though, I could still go out into the world. But going out just led to the actual hardest part of breast-feeding: having to do it in public. I never cease to feel self-conscious about it. I have always felt vulnerable and nervous nursing in public places, even when using a blanket or shawl. But there was literally no getting around it. In the beginning of an infant's life they nurse ALL the time. And unless you want to spend three months on the couch in your living room, a new mom has to suck it up (pun kind of intended) and get out there and do it. So I do, and I did. But, like I said, it hasn't been easy.

Yesterday this blogger, whom I had been enjoying following, posted a couple of statements on Twitter to her 1600 followers about a breast-feeding mom in Starbucks who was using a blanket.

First there was this one:

"Really happy we're sharing this moment together, nursing mother FIVE FEET FROM ME. #gross"

and then this one:

"If it's too tough to walk to a private place or make a bottle before you go for your caffeine fix, maybe you're not cut out for motherhood."

These broad statements sliced right to the core of me and my insecurities about nursing. Hell, it cut right to the heart of my insecurity about being a mom. I tweeted back at her and unfollowed her right away, but I was still left thinking about it for hours.

Honestly, nothing has been harder for me than being a mom. Well, maybe losing my parents. But aside from that, the identity shift that has come with this new role in my life has been incredibly challenging. I'm very aware that parenthood and mothering aren't things you can understand until you're doing it, and I'm also painfully aware of some stupid and hurtful things I thought about my friends before I became a mom too. But I was still surprised yesterday to see such outspoken and ignorant thoughts about it from a seemingly intelligent and city-savvy woman.

All I ask of people is that they have a little compassion for something they know nothing about. I could go into great lengths about why exactly it might be "too tough to walk to a private place or make a bottle before you go for your caffeine fix," but that's not really the point. It was a haughty statement to make.

Are nursing moms really expected to just hole up for the first year of their child's life? To just not go out in public, for fear of offending people, even when covering up? Is that what one woman wishes for another?

I would like to think that had I seen, and been grossed out by, that same scene in my days before becoming a mother I still would have had the sense enough to know that I was witnessing something I was too ignorant of to make blind statements about.

Should I just be chalking up these attitudes to the sexual repression and over-medicalization of American culture, and moving on? Maybe. Should I have just sent the blogger an email expressing (pun definitely intended) my thoughts? Perhaps. Except the thing is that this is an issue about something public, and as such, I think it should be made even more so.

So, let me ask this: Would you rather a baby nurses quietly five feet from you under a blanket, or would you rather ask this extremely tired mother to sulk off to a Starbucks bathroom and stand next to the sink? Or, would you rather the baby howl and scream and cry five feet from you because his mother is too ashamed to feed him?

Or maybe you would just prefer the mother sits on her couch all day.

All I'm asking is that anyone who takes issue with this, just try to be more understanding. It's not easy. We're not breast-feeding in public to offend you and we're certainly not doing it just for fun. Being a mom is really hard. If you don't believe me, just ask your own.

61 comments

61 Comments

  • Debbie
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 11:26 am | Permalink

    Thanks for this post, Claire. Being a mom IS hard. Like you said, it’s hard to understand until you become one yourself. But still, thanks for standing up.

  • Kerry
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    My aunt used to like to say to complainers, “Would YOU want to eat YOUR lunch in the bathroom?”

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    Very well written Claire and I couldn’t have agreed more! Going to RT now!

  • Kavita
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    Motherhood has to be felt and earned, not seen from five feet away in Starbucks. I like that instead of ignoring and ‘unfriending’ this person, you decided to speak (write) about it.

  • Dave
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 2:51 pm | Permalink

    I haven’t checked your blog in a really long time. I followed you back in your LA days. I don’t know why I chose to check it today but I’m glad I did. Our six year old nursed until he was almost three. Our 16 month twins still nurse. To quote Mr T. “I pity the fool” who gives my wife or any mother anywhere near us a hard time about nursing in public. Keep on nursing as long as you can. Its a limited time offer between mother and child. There are many fathers like me who will do anything in our power to support nursing moms.

  • Bellie
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm | Permalink

    Hopefully she is in the minority- it makes her look very ignorant. It was like I was reading tweets from a 12 yr old!

  • Katie
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

    amen sister. Aidan just recently gave up nursing and I was actually very upset about it! I think he has been over it for awhile but I refused to let it go. I loved nursing- i know that sounds crazy to some people, but there was such a sense of accomplishment associated with it- and i know it kept him healthy πŸ™‚ Now when I went back to work my co-worker (also bfeeding) was pumping in the bathroom!!!! I refused!! I went to the principal and demanded (politely) that we were given a space! We were and all was resolved. I too get VERY fired up about bfeeding in public, and the rights of women. I truly don’t see the big deal associated with it and think people that do are somewhat ignorant.
    Thanks for this insightful post πŸ™‚

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:05 pm | Permalink

    You know I think its actually a law in most states that women be given and clean, private space in which to pump at work. Glad youre a supporter too!

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:06 pm | Permalink

    Yeah, I really couldnt believe the things she wrote. If it had just been that one tweet, I could have let it go. But she was pretty relentless about how gross she thought the situation was.

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:22 pm | Permalink

    Love, love husbands who support breast-feeding moms! You guys need to form a league! Thanks for the support!

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:25 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Kavita! (But for the record I did stop following her on Twitter.)

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for the support, Vanessa!

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm | Permalink

    Hahaha…love it!

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Debbie! And yeah, I am definitely keeping in mind that she really has no idea what she’s talking about…and won’t until she becomes a mom herself.

  • Beth
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:30 pm | Permalink

    I became a mom only three weeks ago and I haven’t yet had the courage to nurse in public. Mostly because of fear of being scorned like this. But like you said, I can’t sit on the couch for the rest of the year. Thanks for looking out for us new moms!

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    I get really upset about statements like that. I just don’t understand why people think breastfeeding is gross. We are FEEDING a child. Gah.
    When my Sunshine was a young baby, we went out to dinner to celebrate a pair of birthdays. It was really crowded and she was upset. I was sitting around a table with my entire family and was too shy to stand up for myself so I went to the bathroom. I’m still angry at myself for doing that. Why should nursing moms have to hide in a bathroom? A dirty, smelly bathroom?
    Now that I’m nursing again, I am much more inclined to do it whenever and wherever my son needs it and I don’t care. Playground? Yes. Library? Yes. That said, I will still choose a nice, quiet spot if I can find one and often I will nurse in my car because I just like it. I’m a private person. However, if there are no other options then nursing in public it is. I fully support other moms if they want to use blankets/hooter biders/etc but I can’t. I always hated them–between trying to get the damn thing placed just so and the baby squirming underneath, it was more of a pain than anything.
    I read so many articles supporting breastfeeding and wonder why it has such a negative stigma attached to it here? But only the breastfeeding in public part of it. People are all “oh, yeah, breastfeeding is great! Just keep it at home, where I can’t see it!” You know what? I realize people in public places all have to co-exist and I’m sorry that my breastfeeding is making you uncomfortable. Trust me, you don’t want to hear my son scream and I am not going to the bathroom again. Look away and respect my role as a mom to provide for my children. Don’t shun me as a mom, a woman and a person.

  • Posted October 12, 2010 at 8:53 pm | Permalink

    PS–Excellent post. Thank you for writing it.

  • s
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

    Well said. Being a mom is always a difficult job. Being a nursing mom is the most challenging and rewarding job a woman will ever undertake.

  • daveyboy457
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 3:11 am | Permalink

    you are passionate about breast feeding, and that’s awesome. working in the health care field i know how beneficial it can be, not only for the new baby, but for the mom too. what i dont get is this, you say,
    “All I’m asking is that anyone who takes issue with this, just try to be more understanding…”
    and thats great advice, but you too, should try to do the same. i read the tweets, the ones you posted and the others too that you didnt post…
    i guess the way i see it is this, and feel free to disagree, it made her uncomfortable, some people dont like it. but it doesnt make them bad people…
    im not trying to start a fight, i just think if you want other people to be tolerant of you, you need to do the same. im not sure unfolowing here solved anything. maybe a better idea would be to contact her, privately, and let her know how and why you were offended. that would maybe open up a discussion between you both that way fostering some understanding, you of her, and she of you.
    passion is great, but so is compassion…

  • Johnnie
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 3:51 am | Permalink

    I read her tweet and replied along with many of my breastfeeding friends. She didn’t seem quite remorseful until now. And that may be because you wrote about it on a blog. Hopefully, she’s been influenced enough to stop with all this BS and maybe, just maybe she’ll see the beauty in it all.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 5:14 am | Permalink

    I don’t know if anyone noticed but the person in question in her Twitter profile describes herself as “food obsessed”… breast milk is baby’s food yet she doesn’t seem to be obsessed with that (I am though). A well written post but it’s such a shame that it has to be said over and over again – I’m planning on breastfeeding as long as I can (up to the four month mark currently) and sadly I already have a few statements ready for when someone tells me to move on.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 6:19 am | Permalink

    Good on you for being vocal about this. It makes me really angry when I read or hear about this kind of thing. Really mad.
    Without even getting into the benefits of breastfeeding and the fact that it’s a perfectly natural process, women should have the choice when it comes to how to feed their baby. And they should feel supported in whatever choice they do make.
    Of course, what I’m really mad about here is not that this person has a particular opinion, just that it seems to be based on ignorance. And that’s sad, really. I just hope that these kind of conversations allow some kind of understanding to develop.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 7:07 am | Permalink

    Well said Claire. My son is still breast feeding at 18 months–but only on one breast πŸ™‚ As a Dad it is hard to imagine what it must be like to have to “whip ’em out” whenever the little bugger is hungry.
    So what if you see a nipple in Starbucks. People aren’t bothered by violence, etc on television, but a child feeding bothers them?
    Just remember that the only people tweeting about breastfeeding in public are the one’s opposed to it. I don’t think 99% of people are bothered by it–and of course those people aren’t going to tweet about “how they’re not bothered by breastfeeding in public” πŸ™‚

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 7:11 am | Permalink

    I felt pretty tolerant and understanding of Paige, up to a point. I probably would have thought public breast-feeding was a little gross before I was a mom too, but I doubt I would have made that opinion public. Furthermore, I know that I wouldnt have presumed to know enough about it to say something like, If its too tough to walk to a private place or make a bottle before
    you go for your caffeine fix, maybe youre not cut out for motherhood. Thats where I lost my compassion.

  • Karla
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 7:16 am | Permalink

    claire – i nursed both of my sons for 10 months each (they are now 1 and 3). had to laugh because i totally felt chained to the couch with my first – he wanted to eat all the time. i, like you, never thought i would do it or like it, but once i did, i was hooked. it is a beautiful, nourishing experience. i totally agree we need to be discreet, but also think the rest of the world needs to deal with it and respect our decision to give our babies the BEST! once i got this attitude, i stopped caring what others think when i would discreetly nurse in public. be proud of your committment to giving your little one the best start in life.

  • Katie Riley
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    Davey – To me it sounds like Claire was very respectful in her choice of words regarding Paige’s tweets. I went and read through them too, and Paige had plenty of chances to backtrack and apologize or just drop it all together. Instead she went forward with her ignorance and eventually said that perhaps this stranger was not cut out for motherhood.
    You want Claire to show tolerance for what exactly?
    I think it’s pretty obvious that the unknown mother in Starbucks is a pretty kick-ass Mom for thinking of her baby’s needs first, and the needs of snarky woman pushing buttons on her phone last.

  • Megan
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 8:36 am | Permalink

    While a. I am in support of children being breastfed and b. I am not a mother, so I cannot understand the frequency necessary, etc., couldn’t this have been done without calling Paige out directly?
    I mean, let’s be honest, you were offended by her tweets because you felt called out and alienated (right?). How do you think linking her blog that she works so hard on made her felt? I’d guess called out and alienated. Yes, this is your blog and you can write what you want, but also, that is her Twitter account and she can write what she wants. If you were so hurt by the way that she used her avenue, why would you do the same on yours? Isn’t your goal here to make people more tolerant? Couldn’t you, then, have taken steps to make yourself more tolerant? If you wanted to write the post (understandable), couldn’t you have simply written the post without linking her blog, Twitter account, etc.? How would you feel if Paige wrote the tweets she did and @replied your account?
    An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

  • Daveyboy457
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    If the point is to educate an uneducated person, I’m not sure you’ve all accomplished what you wanted to accomplish. If the purpose is for a group of like minded people to chastise a person who doesn’t agree with them, mission accomplished. A better dialogue, a more understanding one at least, would have been accomplished via an email. This reads like a ” shame on you for not agreeing with us” exchange.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    claire,
    i’m so glad you wrote this post and so sorry that such a post is still necessary. i just want to say that there are those of us out there who aren’t moms and yet are fully supportive of public breastfeeding and don’t find it gross at all. like chris said above, i think it’s a vocal minority drowning out those of us who have no problem with it. i’m sure the fact that paige lives in chicago made this feel too close to home, but you and i live not just in the same city but in the same neighborhood. so know that i’m out there, probably frequenting lots of the same places you do, thinking that you having the courage to do what’s best for your daughter is pretty awesome. and i know i’m not the only one.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    Its totally nice to hear from those who arent yet moms, yet who still support breast-feeding. I know that I was completely unaware of anything about it before I became a mom. But I was still conscious of that, and wouldnt have made statements like the above.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 10:50 am | Permalink

    I agree that I called her out unnecessarily, and that came from a place of anger and hurt. Her name and links have been removed. I do hope that she reconsiders her ideas about when/how/where women should breastfeed.

  • Megan
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    It’s been pointed out to me that you removed the links, and because I consider this woman a dear friend who would never intentionally offend you on such a deep level, I appreciate that. I think it’s great that you stand up for what you believe to be true and I know the Tweeter in question feels the same.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 10:59 am | Permalink

    For the record, Chris β€” and I’m replying to you because I feel like I know you β€” I’m bothered by a lot of things. A LOT of things make me uncomfortable, including violence on television and anything gratuitous like that. And I comment on all of them. I’m very vocal about things I don’t like and things that make me uncomfortable. Until people disagree with me, it’s something they like very much about me.
    Maybe more people SHOULD consider being vocal about “how they’re not bothered by breastfeeding in public.” I hadn’t heard much at all about this even being a thing until people jumped up in my business about how wrong I was.
    If you’re going to nurse in public, work on getting that positive message out into public so people understand you better.
    Here is my blog, in response to all this: http://paigeworthy.com/?p=469

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    Thanks, Megan!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    I agree. It was wrong of me to call her out like that. Links removed.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:14 am | Permalink

    Im definitely a discreet breast-feeder, but I also support those who are less modest about it. We all just have to do whats best for us. Thanks for your comment!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    This is a good point. Next time I see a nursing mom Im going to tweet in support! (And love, love that your son only nurses on one breast — too cute!)

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Yes, hopefully this whole thing has made a few people think a bit more about the issue. You cant fault someone for being uneducated, but you can fault them for assuming they know more than they do about something.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:29 am | Permalink

    When people are intolerant of breastfeeding, I often think it’s due to their sexualization of it, which totally disgusts me. My breasts are made to feed my children, period. There’s a reason why they make milk and it’s one of the best parts of being a woman.
    I hate it when I feel defensive of my choices as a mom and I’m sorry you felt that way in response to this woman’s tweets.
    I chalk it up to her not being a mom yet and had a similar reaction to another Chicago tweeter complaining about a mom who had her child on a leash in public. I too used to think that tactic was a little odd, but now I’m a mom, I figure, “hey if it works for her, why not?” I responded to the negative tweet and said “I know it looks strange, but perhaps her child is mentally impaired or autistic, and it’s the only way of managing him in public.” Sometimes people just don’t take into account what they say. And that is just ignorance.
    Good for you for defending your principles and for also continuing to breastfeed. Your bond with your daughter is stronger because of it!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:33 am | Permalink

    I also agree that intolerance of breastfeeding has a lot to do with sexualization of breasts. That said, I enjoy both aspects of my breast my attempts to breast-feed modestly are partially an effort to retain the mystery and sexiness of my breasts. Like you said though, it really all comes down to education.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    I also agree that intolerance of breastfeeding has a lot to do with sexualization of breasts. That said, I enjoy both aspects of my breast my attempts to breast-feed modestly are partially an effort to retain the mystery and sexiness of my breasts. Like you said though, it really all comes down to education.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    Agreed. And I shouldn’t have said it’s ignorance, because sometimes in different stages of our lives, we just don’t know better or aren’t educated enough. One day if she becomes a mother, she might understand. If not, that’s ok too. But I do know as a mom, no matter what we decide for our kids, it’s just our nature to defend our beliefs.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:42 am | Permalink

    Hahaha…I love this correlation!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    Shes definitely remorseful now. She wrote a really nice blog post all about it.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    Thanks for the support!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:49 am | Permalink

    Thanks for your comment. I totally feel for you at that family dinner — Ive totally been there. Its really such a loaded issue and there can be so much shame and fear around it, when yes, like you said, were just trying to feed our children.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    You can do it! Get off the couch! πŸ™‚

  • Wendy
    Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    Let me just say that I recall having lunch with you in Chicago last summer when Veronica was just 6 weeks old and you seemed so confident and sure nursing her at the cafe we were at. I was in awe of how comfortable you seemed nursing in public. I nursed Cam until he was 18mo old and the girls until they were 1yr, but never felt comfortable nursing in public. The truth is I was so concerned about making others feel uncomfortable that I would often pump before I went out and then feed them the bottle or sneak off somewhere private. I agree that being a mom is hard. it never seems to get easier. As my kids have gotten older I have learned to ignore others and focus on raising my kids in the manner WE (Craig and I) feel is best. I just wished I would have learned that a whole lot sooner. Bravo to you Claire for speaking your mind and standing up for this issue!

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    Oh my gosh, I remember nursing at lunch that day and I was totally feeling weird about it! I remember thinking, Oh, now this is just too intimate. Im nursing in front of one of my blog readers! But I just didnt know what else to do! Glad I at least seemed confident. Too funny.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    well, i see after reading her post she was in lincoln square, too.
    i’m glad you have called a truce.

  • Posted October 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm | Permalink

    Yep, and I can tell you that, as a Lincoln Square resident, its a sea of moms and kids. She walked right into the hornets nest! But yes, truces are always good.

  • LD
    Posted October 14, 2010 at 12:31 am | Permalink

    I am not a mother, but I do teach early-childhood music at Old Town School, across the street from that Starbucks, and I see mom’s breast-feeding their kids all the time, in class, after class, in the lobby. It seems like the most natural thing in the world to me and I don’t see how it is gross at all. It’s a little baby needing to eat. So I’m with ya here. Thank you for posting for defense of breast-feeding.

  • Posted October 14, 2010 at 5:41 am | Permalink

    Claire, thank you for writing this. I also breastfed (and often in public) long past what the expected “norm” was for breastfeeding, and I agree that it is such a blow to your confidence when someone calls you out for doing it in public, even though it is perfectly within your legal rights to do so, and especially when you are doing it discreetly (which is not even necessary!). If only, as you say, people could realize the benefits for everyone when you are nursing (how that baby will probably be quiet and happy nursing but might be crying and unhappy otherwise). I took countless plane rides with my kids, and because of the nursing, there was never a fussy moment with either child. My fellow passengers were mostly unaware I was nursing, and they would always marvel at how “good” my children were (a phrase which also bugs me, that that’s for another discussion), and it was precisely because they were nursing that they were so content. But way beyond nursing on planes, I nursed in movie theaters, in restaurants, in coffee shops, in museums, in parks, in stores, and heck, just walking down the street while the baby was in a sling. In hundreds of places, and thankfully, I only had a handful of negative reactions.
    The women who use the blankets are usually the ones trying very hard to be respectful of those around them, to NOT cause them discomfort, and are probably very self conscious already, and I find it extremely sad that someone would be called out for being “gross” (!!!!) for this and continue to defend this stance.
    Even confident nursing moms who never felt the need to cover up (I was one of those) can feel self-conscious after a public call-out . It is clear to me that this Tweeter is young and has no idea about motherhood, and it’s too bad that she felt the need to take such a firm stance on it, hanging onto that stance, even when it was clear she had no idea what she was talking about. I know of many mothers who have had difficulty nursing because they felt they could not nurse in public–the baby would then be forced to go longer than he or she needed between feedings, therefore messing up the the whole natural flow of supply/demand, and ultimately damaging the whole breastfeeding experience.
    It is so sad that we have moved so far away from breastfeeding in our culture that it makes many people uncomfortable to witness. I spent a lot of energy trying to fight this attitude when my children were still nursing, and although those sweet days are now over, I am surprised at how protective I feel of all nursing mothers, how touched I am to see someone nursing a toddler (or beyond). Whenever I see a nursing mom, I like to tell her how sweet and wonderful that scene is, so that I can undo just a tiny bit of the effect from the opposite reaction.
    So even though I cannot do anything for this particular mother, to let her know I support her, I want you to know I support you and think you are doing the most wonderful thing you can for your child.

  • MDmomx5
    Posted October 14, 2010 at 9:08 am | Permalink

    great post! I get riled up anytime somebody tries to put parameters on a breastfeeding dyad, no matter if it is how, where or for how long breastfeeding happens.
    There is a paradigm shift that needs to happen & it won’t until BF is seen as what it simply is: the biologically normal way to feed children. What a mixed message this country sends moms about BF- as a society we think you should BF but we aren’t going to offer you any support to navigate any speed bumps you might come up against & what ever you do NOT do THAT in public. But hey if you want to use your boobs to sell something like beer or cars then it’s OK. I wonder if this person thinks the ads in the Victoria’s Secret window are “gross” too?

  • Posted October 14, 2010 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

    EXACTLY.

  • Posted October 14, 2010 at 1:42 pm | Permalink

    And thank you for this beautiful comment. Im so glad there are moms like you out there!

  • Posted October 14, 2010 at 1:47 pm | Permalink

    Yay for Old Town School! Veronica was a Wiggle Worm earlier this year, and I think I remember having to nurse her in one class. πŸ™‚ I bet you see tons of breast-feeding! Thanks for the support.

  • MDmomx5
    Posted October 15, 2010 at 9:48 am | Permalink

    If you work in the health care field you should know that breastfeeding confers NO benefit- it is simply the biological norm. Until we break the paradim that views formula as the norm & breastfeeding as “beneficial” society’s reaction to & support of breastfeeding will be poor. It is one thing to be uncomfortable with something it’s another to call it gross & get snarky about it. What would the reaction be if she was talking about a gay couple holding hands? Would you tell a gay couple to be tolerant of somebody tweeting about how gross they are?

  • Posted October 16, 2010 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    I agree. I think tolerance all around is the real issue here.

  • Posted March 20, 2011 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    I am a new mom, and I have been called to form an opinion on breastfeeding right away. I can’t really come up with my own perceptive until I am a mom, however, I might adopt yours until then. This is very well put. I love your blog, Claire!

  • Posted March 22, 2011 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    Thanks so much! Feel free to take on some of my ideas. Its a tricky subject! Very personal.

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