No Regrets: 9 Month Letter

Dear Vera-Bug,

Last week you turned 9 months old. And I suddenly realized that before I know it, we'll be celebrating your 1st birthday. Unbelievable.

I've said this before, but when you have a baby you just kind of think you'll always have a "baby." Not true. Not true at all.

You turn into a little person more and more every day. You're a defiant little thing these days and think you have everything figured out. You're sure that you're in charge of it all, from the wiley cats and your team of dining room chairs to declaring when it is time to throw peas and cheerios on the floor and expressing your displeasure for being so rudely changed into pajamas when you were perfectly happy being naked in your bath towel.

I hold you at night in my arms in the rocker in the nursery, putting you to bed, and I think about how your infant days are over and how you'll soon be walking (and running) and will have turned into a bonafide little girl, no longer a baby. I wonder then what it would be like if I never have any more kids, if you are my only baby.

And I wonder then if I've truly reveled in my experience with you. I think I have. I think about all the time I've spent staring down at your tiny, sleeping face, memorizing the way your eyelashes rest oh-so softly on your little cheeks. I think about all the naps we've taken, snuggled up, your hand flung out across my shoulder, your breath coming in sweet little puffs.

I truly don't know if I could have spent more time or more energy loving you and completely immersing myself in your new life. For that I'm grateful. No regrets, no heart ache. I learned that lesson the hard way with my own mother, years ago.

Right now you are off at your Wiggle Worms music class with your daddy. I usually take you on Monday mornings but since your Dad has the day off today (yay for new job!!) he's going to be there with you, holding you in his lap as you clap and chirp along to the songs. I love your relationship with him. I love watching the man I love become a father. I love turning to watch your expression as he arrives home from work, your face dissolving into a happy crinkle as he comes up the stairs, both of your eyes locked on the other's.

Firsts this month? Let's see. You have five teeth. You've fully mastered crawling, pulling yourself to standing and hurdling yourself over anything in your way of a cat. Your latest trick is standing completely unassisted. You bend your knees just a bit like some Venice Beach weight lifter and sway just a tiny little, usually while holding something like a maraca to your mouth as you stare down an approaching cat.

You survived sleep-training, or more importantly we survived. And we're all the better off for it. Dad and I have our evenings back and you're finally getting a healthy night's sleep. Well, most of the time. We may have caved and brought you in bed with us last night when you inexplicably wouldn't stop crying at midnight. Shhh, don't tell Dr. Ferber.

At your last appointment you weighed 20.4 pounds and were declared perfectly healthy. You love to pick up things using your thumb and forefinger and often have them poised just in case something good appears. Your father and I call these your pincers and liken you to a little crab on the ready. You've started eating things like Cheerios, whole peas, little apple puffs and bits of cheese, and of course throwing all of it all over the floor. You've now been on 10 flights, visited an aquarium, a zoo (you touched a snake!), and your favorite activity by far still involves anything having to do with the cats.

Most popular nickname this month is Bugsaroo with Vera-Bug coming in close second. And of course, you're still our wiley little Bed Dragon.

With a ridiculous amount of love and devotion,

Mom

6 comments

6 Comments

  • Posted March 16, 2010 at 9:04 am | Permalink

    Oh, I MISS Bug’s little pincers.

  • Posted March 16, 2010 at 8:55 pm | Permalink

    And she misses pincering you.

  • Posted March 17, 2010 at 7:24 am | Permalink

    Ah, sweet little girl…I wonder if her Mum/Mom will tell her there were people in other countries who fell in love with her while she was working out the whole sitting, crawling, eating, standing thing? 🙂

  • Posted March 17, 2010 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    Ha…I absolutely will!

  • Posted March 22, 2010 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    Such a cute video! What a lovely little person she’s becoming.

  • Posted March 22, 2010 at 10:24 am | Permalink

    Aw, thanks!

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