Ebb and Flow

Last night our friends Kate and Tarek came over to babysit while Greg and I went to the movies. It was lovely to walk to the square with Greg, holding hands, and not thinking about V for a couple of hours. We saw 500 Days of Summer, which we both loved.

One of the main characters works as a writer for a greeting card company and at one point in the film he makes a sarcastic joke about a "new baby" card he could write. "Congrats on the new baby! Guess that's it for hanging out," he quips. I sighed with the truth of that statement.

I continue to be amazed at how much having a baby has changed our relationship to everyone in our lives. While it's certainly made us closer to friends who already have babies — they've welcomed us into this giant club with smirks and advice and slaps on the back — it's really drawn us farther apart from our friends who don't have kids yet.

It's inevitable, I suppose. For as much as none of us want it to be so, we simply can't hang out the way we used to. Everything we do has to be baby-friendly, ruling out bars and movies and concerts. Not to mention that we're going to bed pretty early these days in an effort not to overextend ourselves and keep a calm household.

It was interesting to come home to V last night after the movie. Kate and Tarek were a little frazzled and had just gotten a good three-hour taste of what our last 2 months have been like. I believe Kate ascribed the phrase "Chinese water torture" to the way Veronica will fuss endlessly unless you are standing up and walking around with her. No sitting down for any of us. We explained how we often watch TV standing up, how Greg listens to podcasts on his ipod as he walks V around the house trying to get her to fall asleep, and how we almost never get to eat a meal at the same time. All of which are things that made me cry a lot in those first few weeks, but that I've now gotten quite used to.

"I'm not ready," Tarek said, shaking his head and looking a little harried. "Neither are we!" I replied.

We were both glad that our friends on the other side got to see first-hand how much our lives had changed. And we really appreciated their time babysitting. Hopefully, they aren't too scared to do it again!



  • Posted August 10, 2009 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    So happy to hear you and Greg had a nice evening out! Craig and I saw the same movie on Friday night and loved it, it was such a sweet, quirky movie! In fact I downloaded the music from it on iTunes. While we still have many friends that are childless, we have found it is definately more difficult to hang out with them. Most parties and such we get invited to of theirs are sans children. It is fun to go out with them, but at the end of the night we find ourselves tired and ready to get back to the kids!

  • Posted August 10, 2009 at 10:47 pm | Permalink

    Our good friends Jeff & Maria (you may have noticed her enormously pregnant at the ceremony but she left a little bit afterwards) are currently at the hospital in labor! They are having a little boy but haven’t revealed his name. We can’t wait to meet him – but you’re right, I’ve already thought about how our hanging out life with them is going to change but Maria assures me that she will attempt to be the same as she is now, but perhaps always wearing a baby bjorn! We’ll see how it goes but your blog has definitely encouraged me to exercise the utmost patience as well as keep my expectations for hang out time LOW!

  • Posted August 11, 2009 at 11:47 am | Permalink

    You nailed it again, girl!
    Sadly, the majority of our friends do not have kids. As a result, we don’t have many friends with whom we actually spend time when we go back home. Ah well. I alternately envy them and feel bad for them though, truth be told.
    Balance is a wonderful thing. I am finding that with Rainer hitting 9 months I am starting to feel a *tad* more balanced, but it is always a balancing ACT. 🙂

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