In This Together

Lately I've been wishing that pregnancy could be more a shared experience between partners. It's such a different thing for Greg to just see my belly growing bigger, to occasionally feel the baby kick when he holds his hand against my stomach. But it's an entirely different thing to be the pregnant one for all these months, to have your body change, to carry around this little creature inside of you.

And lately I've just been wishing so much that he could experience what I am, the good and the bad of it all. I've started looking forward to the arrival of the baby just so that he can finally get to know it as I have been all this time.

In the last month the baby has become a real physical presence in my life. It's movements have become so distinct and real that they're practically distracting when I'm trying to do certain things. I'm aware of the baby's sleeping and active phases throughout the day and, in turn, the baby seems quite aware of me. It pushes back against my hand when I press against my stomach and there are often positions that I can't sit in because I can tell from the squirming inside that perhaps it isn't so comfortable for the baby.

I'm pretty positive that it had the hiccups the other night and just this past week it's begun distinctly kicking my bladder, which is uncomfortable, to say the least. But the more intense my experience of it becomes, the more I wish Greg was feeling all of these things as well. I can't wait until the baby is in his arms in a couple of months.

Also, I've grown weary of calling it "it" — waiting to find out if it's a boy or a girl has got to be one of the most suspenseful experiences of my entire life.

Overall, you could say I'm getting a little restless in my pregnancy. And I still have two more months to go!



  • Posted April 2, 2009 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    Re “pregnacy being a shared experience”.
    Despite stupid films starring Shwartznegger to the contrary, it never has been a shared experience. Women have babies, men take more or less interest in the process. Historically, men were very little involved, recently a little caring and sharing has crept in.
    Your wishing for Greg to share the experience is futile. There is real justification in the view that he was party to causing such discomfort, and fairness would require him sharing the aches and pains. He shared the fun of creation, but not the labour of gestation.
    But he will never know the intense pleasures and pains, the crazy hormone rollercoaster, being two persons at once.
    He can only grasp the pale shadow your words can describe, to be part of the most fundimental experience in life. If he were in your place, would he have the courage and endurance to gladly bear the pains? Perhaps. No man will ever know. Pity the men, who are denied this test.

  • Posted April 3, 2009 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    I like your insight here, Paul. And your line about being two people at the same time really struck me. I’m not sure that I always feel like I’m two people at the same time, but I guess I really am.

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